ONE OF LIFE’S BLESSINGS AS I’M GETTING OLDER

I used to pick and choose what I wanted to hear.  Now that I’m older I’d have to get hearing aids if I still wanted to be that picky.

          My doctor asked me a few years ago how my hearing was.  I said, “I like it.”  That was because I was having fun when I heard wrong words as fast-talking people used words that sounded to me like they could be other words.  I usually got a kick out of the funny things they seemed to be saying.  Even if it sounded like they were insulting me I’d know whether that was true or not because their facial expressions spoke volumes. 

          I realized that by responding to what I thought I’d heard, instead of what they said, or by simply smiling, I probably came across at times as being a bit looney.  I was okay with that and I still am.

          My grandkid says I have old ears that hear things slowly.  If she only knew what I think I hear compared to what’s being said, I’m sure she too would call it something else as she pats me on the head. 

          Would I be better off getting hearing aids?  No, I don’t think so.  My right ear is frequently plugged up. When it suddenly clears out the volume also suddenly shoots up for all surrounding noises, sometimes to a very uncomfortable level.  I don’t know, but I’m thinking that it could be painful if I were wearing hearing aids when that happens. 

I know people who have tossed out their hearing aids because trying to constantly adjust the volume was so nerve-racking.  From what they’ve told me, I would probably do the same, so there is no point in wasting money on hearing aids when it could be better spent on a bottle of bourbon.  I may be getting older, but I still have my priorities.

          When it is important to me to hear what someone is saying I’ll ask them to repeat it.  If I’m having difficulty hearing the TV, I’ll back it up and turn up the volume.  When I’m in a group I’ll do my best to sit closer to a soft-spoken person where I can hear better or sit where I can see the speaker’s mouth.  I don’t read lips, but being able to see a speaker’s lips helps me get the gist of what’ s being said.  If I feel like dancing around the living room, I’ll just turn the music up full blast.  Luckily, I don’t have any nearby neighbors.

Understanding what people were saying was especially difficult during the pandemic.  Most people wore masks over their mouths, and there was no point in asking them to repeat themselves because the sound was too muffled for me to hear clearly anyway. 

Most of the time I don’t think I’m missing much by getting a word wrong here and there and I’d rather just continue enjoying the comedy routines that run in my head than to keep asking people to repeat themselves.

          There is one exception however, if I were to be looking the wrong way and I’m about to step in front of a bus, I’d sure appreciate it if those around me would speak up loud and clear.